Morgan's family reunion
by CeeCee333
Summary: Derek Morgan is being forced by Madea to come to a family reunion. Morgan will learn that family can be a curse and a blessing. Eventual Morgan/Garcia pairing and few surprise guests. This is technically a crossover but I didn't see an option to add this particular movie.
1. Chapter 1

Here's another story. Don't worry I have it almost completed I just need to editing stuff. Also I haven't abandoned any of my stories.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my weird ideas.

A/N: Thanks to Evgrrl09 for encouraging my weirdness.

Derek Morgan walked through the front door of his apartment. He was exhausted from the last case his team had been on: three weeks, four days, and seventeen hours in Detroit, Michigan hunting a pack of serial killers. He tossed his keys on his bedside table and fell face forward onto his comfortable mattress still dressed in his work clothes. Without looking up Derek smacked his answering machine. The very first message made him groan.

"Hi Derek, it's Savannah. I just wanted to let you know that my parents are still coming into town next week. I know you're busy, but can you please make some time for your girlfriend? Anyway, I have to go. Talk to you later."

The next message he heard made him smile tiredly into his bed. "Hey Derek it's your all knowing best friend. I have Clooney at my apartment and you can just come pick him up in the morning. Get some sleep my handsome super hero."

Derek was listening to his messages five minutes later and was almost asleep when the last one made him sit straight up in a panic.

"Hellur! Derek Morgan, now this is my fifth time calling you this month, and you have yet to return any of my phone calls. Now listen here: your great Aunt Viola is sick, and she wants everyone to come down to the family reunion this year. If you don't return my call I'm coming up there, ya hear me? The woman is 87 she doesn't have too many more years left. Ol' peanut head too damn busy for your family. And call ya mama! She ain't heard from you in a few weeks."

Derek stared at the phone as if it had grown two heads. He silently prayed his aunt wouldn't actually come to D.C. Once, when Derek was fifteen years old, Fran called Mabel "Madea" Simmons in a panic. He was spending all of his time hanging out with gangbangers and drug dealers. Mabel drove all the way from Atlanta to Chicago with one mission: to whoop Derek Morgan's ass.

There were no hellos or how are you doings with Mabel. She just showed up on Fran's doorstep. Madea simply walked into the house and asked, "Where is he?"

Fran pointed to a storefront and by the time his aunt had finished whooping his ass, he'd decided to stick to football, graduate from high school, and go to college.

He still remembered the words his aunt spoke to him. "Derek, your father's gone now but if he saw you acting like this he would be ashamed. I know you've been through a lot, and you may not believe me now, but there are better things and better people out there for you."

Derek laid back down. He put his hands behind his head and thought about how right his Aunt had been.

XXXXXXXX

Derek walked through the glass doors leading to the bullpen holding two cups of coffee.

"Mornin' guys."

"Morning Morgan," Reid said with a hopeful smile.

"Reid, one of these coffees is for me and the other is for Garcia."

"Of course it is," Emily said with an eyeroll.

Derek smirked. "Prentiss if you hate the coffee here so much, next time when we have a budget meeting, you can bring it up."

"Yeah I'm sure that will go over real well what with all the budget cuts and such."

"Maybe I could put together a presentation on the benefits of coffee. For instance, did you know coffee reduces the risk of developing type two diabetes?" Reid chirped.

"Yeah you do that, Pretty Boy," Morgan laughed.

As Reid continued his excited babble about the benefits of coffee, Prentiss shot Morgan a glare as he walked off towards Garcia's office in clear annoyance at being stuck listening to the resident genius.

"Knock knock, Baby." Derek said with a sly grin on his face.

"Oh hey, Hot Stuff!" she exclaimed as she turned in her chair to face him. "Ooh, gimme gimme!"

"Who said one of these is for you?" Derek teased clutching both cups to his chest.

"Because my Derek Morgan wouldn't be so cruel as to bring real coffee into my bat cave without sharing."

"You know me I could never be cruel to you," he responded handing over the steaming cup of coffee.

"So what are your plans for lunch? Maybe a little sushi with your main man?"

"Sorry Charlie I already have plans for lunch. Sam wanted to try this new Asian fusion restaurant."

"Oh okay. Well maybe some other time," Derek mumbled, crestfallen.

"You got it." she said with a winsome smile.

Just then his cellphone rang. "I better take this." Derek said as he tiredly rubbed his neck On his way out of the door Penelope heard him say, "Sorry Savannah I didn't call you last night I was wiped out."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Derek sighed as he sat across from Savannah at some trendy restaurant during his lunch break. She was currently going on and on about her parents coming into town. He'd been non stop working and his brain just didn't feel like processing anymore information.

"So I was thinking you could come with me to pick them up from the airport Friday."

"Oh sure, sure. Uh what time are they coming?" he asked absentmindedly.

"Derek, have you been listening?" she asked as she crossed her arms defensively across her chest.

Derek sat in silence for a moment. He couldn't very well tell his girlfriend he'd quit listening halfway through their one sided conversation. He missed the days where he was the only lunch date Penelope had. He and his best friend would flirt shamelessly and simply enjoy each others' company. It seemed every time he got together with Savannah she was talking non-stop. He knew that it was due to the fact that they barely got to see each other, but it was too much.

"Sorry about that. I must have missed that detail," he said instead of voicing his annoyance.

He almost rolled his eyes when she patted his hand and kept rambling.

"When do I get to meet your family?"

"Hopefully soon. I...uh...have just been busy. As soon as we get some real down time, I'll give my mom a call." Derek wasn't sure he was ready for her to meet his mom. Partly because his mother would take one look at him and see that he wasn't completely all there in the relationship.

Cutting into his thoughts Savannah asked, "I know about your mom and sisters, but what about your dad's side of the family? Do you ever see them?"

"I haven't been to see them in almost seventeen years. They live in Georgia."

"Georgia?" she asked with a slight tinge of disgust in her voice. "I thought your family was from Chicago."

"Just my mom's side of the family. My dad's side of the family comes from the country."

"No wonder you don't want to go back there," she said haughtily.

Derek could feel himself become defensive. "Hey what's wrong with being from the country?"

"There are bugs and wild animals. And think about all the ignorant people."

"Okay, wait a minute. Just because they come from the country doesn't mean they're stupid. And not all of them are from the country a lot of them live in Atlanta."

"Well if you care about them so much why haven't you gone back to visit?" Savannah retorted in a standoffish tone.

"Because life got in the way. You know, I don't want to talk about this anymore and I need to get back to the office." Derek stood up and Savannah followed suit. Once outside of the restaurant he gave her a tentative kiss on the cheek. Before either could say anything else his phone began to ring.

"I gotta get this."

"Okay Derek. Call me when you get off of work."

He watched her retreating back wondering if staying with Savannah was really worth it. Sure she was pretty, smart, and independent, which is what he usually looked for in a woman, but somedays it seemed like his relationship was more work than it was really worth, Derek knew he wasn't getting any younger and the time for playing the field was over. It was time to settle down and make a real commitment. It was time to give his mother those grandbabies she's been asking for.

Just as Derek got into his suv his phone rang again. He slid his phone out of his pocket and cringe as read the caller ID. He rested his the back of his head on the head rest and answered.

"Hey, Aunt Mabel."

"Well hellur to you, too! Boy, I been trying to call you for a month now!"

"I know, Madea, and I'm sorry. I've just been... really busy."

"Don't give me that you were busy mess. Did you get my message?"

"Yes ma'am I did, but I'm sorry I don't think I can make it. I might get called on a case." Derek sighed hoping she would drop the subject of him going to his family reunion."

"Derek, all that Viola has done for you, I think you can bring your ass down here for a few days."

This wasn't good; she was resorting to guilt. He knew exactly what his Great Aunt Viola had done. She took care of him during the summers after his father died. His mom had been stressed about money and worried about what a ten year old Derek Morgan was going to do. She called her husband's family, and they welcomed her and her children with open arms.

"Madea, I promise I'll try."

"Derek, don't make me come up there and bring you back with me. You know how do, I don't play no games. I don't give a damn if you are with the F.B.I or not. Boy, I whooped your ass all those years ago and I can do it again."

Derek grinned at that. She may have been tough as nails and didn't take shit from anyone but she cared in her own loveably (and slightly violent) way.

"Madea, I promise I'll do everything in my power to try and make it."

"You better because I am sick and tired of bragging about my big shot profiler nephew."

"I get it. I'll come."

Derek heard his aunt move the phone away from her mouth and barked out a laugh when he heard her yell, "Joe, get out the damn kitchen. That's why you so fat now! You so big you have moons orbiting around your waist!"

"I hear you and Uncle Joe are still at each other throats."

"I love my brother, but he ain't got no damn sense."

There was a beep in Derek's ear signaling another call.

"Hey Madea work is calling me. I gotta let you go."

"Okay Derek but you remember what I said. I will come up there and you know your Madea isn't scared of no F.B.I or no Po-Po!"

Derek chuckled as they ended the call. He took the call from Hotch requesting everyone's presence at the BAU so they could go over the latest case files and have Garcia process them. As he pulled out of the parking lot of the restaurant, he wondered if he should take Savannah with him. It would be funny to see his fancy ass girlfriend in the dirty south.

As always read and review!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: Thank you guys for reading and/or reviewing!

Penelope was strolling through the F.B.I. lobby waiting in line to get her badge scanned when she heard, "Look little man, I just need to see my nephew, and I'll be on my way."

"Ma'am, we can't just let you go up," Samuel, one of the security guards, said.

" I just want to see Derek Morgan." An older woman declared.

"Ma'am, unfortunately you're on a list and I cannot allow you to go up without an F.B.I agent to escort you. Now I would be glad to call Agent Morgan for you," Samuel tried explaining

"I want to surprise him," Mabel said as she drew herself to her full height.

Samuel sighed. He wasn't going to get anywhere with this woman who seemed large enough to take him in a street fight.

"I'll take her up with me," Penelope said with a smile. She had heard a few things over the years about Derek's Aunt Mabel. She'd even seen police footage from a police chase the woman was in. Her best friend respected his aunt and that was enough for Penelope to offer to bring the woman into the bull pen with her.

"Well thank you, little blond girl" Madea said while shooting the security guard a dirty look that had the man shrinking into his chair.

"Penelope are you sure?" Samuel asked warily.

"Of course, Samuel. And no problem ma'am. It would be my pleasure. I was going to drop something off to Agent Morgan anyway." Penelope said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"You don't need to call me ma'am. Just call me Mabel." Madea said glaring at the security guard.

Penelope looked at Madea and smiled. Penelope scanned her badge and both women boarded the elevator to take them to the BAU floor both watching the buttons light up as they passed each floor.

Madea tilted her head and looked at the woman standing next to her. She had heard her nephew speak highly of the technical analyst for years.

"So you're Penelope Garcia," Madea asked with a raise of her eyebrow.

Penelope's head quickly turned to face the woman. In astonishment, she asked, "How do you know my name?"

"There have been a few times that I have talked to Derek that he has mentioned you." Mabel said smirking to the woman.

"Good things I hope," Penelope said as she blushed prettily. She knew that Derek talked to his mom and sisters about her. She'd even met other relatives during the case with his cousin, Cindy, but she wasn't aware that he talked about her with any of his Georgia relatives.

"Peanut Head wouldn't shut up about you," Madea replied with a shake of her head.

"Peanut Head?" Penelope asked, snorting in amusement.

"The first time he shaved his head in the academy we noticed his head was shaped like a perfectly formed peanut." Mabel gave a snort of her own. "I'm just glad he shaved that afro. He was starting to look like Prince."

By the time the elevator doors opened they were laughing so hard tears where in their eyes. "I'm telling you Penelope, I tried to get him to sing 'Purple Rain' in a talent show once. It's a shame the boy couldn't carry a tune if he had a bucket.".Madea said after she was able to control her laughter.

Mabel looked around the bull pen and Penelope hooked their arms together to lead her to her lair.

"Just follow me, Mabel." Penelope made a vow to sing every Prince song she could think of around Derek.

XXXXXXXXXX

Reid and Prentiss were sitting at his desk sharing a quick lunch. Emily almost dropped her plastic fork when she saw Penelope escorting a rather tall, gray haired woman wearing a floral print dress with a white ruffled collar.

Reid looked up from the book he was reading, glancing at Prentiss' face. "Prentiss, what's wrong with you?" Shrugging when he received no response, he followed her line of sight.

"I wonder who she is," Prentiss pondered aloud.

"She looks like someone's sweet grandmother," Reid remarked. "It also looks like they're headed towards Morgan's office."

Think she's related to Morgan?" Emily asked as she tried to profile the older woman's physical appearance.

"I don't know. The only real resemblance I see is the height. Maybe when she was younger Morgan looked like her."

"If that woman is related to Morgan, I seriously suggest you don't say that to her." Emily said with a hint of warning in the tone of her voice.

"Believe it or not, Emily, but I have gotten better with my social skills." Reid said as he watched The team's technical analyst and an older woman walk towards their desks.

Penelope and Madea walked towards them.

"Hey Reid, have you guys seen Morgan? I went by his office, and he wasn't there."

"Derek went to lunch with Savannah," Prentiss said, irritated The one time shemet Savannah, was not impressed. It mostly had to do with Emily betting an entire month's salary that Morgan wouldn't stay with her for more than a month and partly because she was hoping he would come to his senses and finally take Penelope out.

"Oh! Where are my manners? Guys, this is Mabel. She's Derek's aunt."

Reid was the first to speak. "Hi, Mrs-"

"Mabel, just call me Mabel." Madea looked at Reid, examining him, "Boy, why you so skinny? They don't have any food in Virginia?"

"Ma'am I just..I just have a high metabolism." Reid looked at the woman towering over him and trembled.

"High metabolism? It looks like the only thing you eat is air."

Prentiss had to stifle a chuckle. "Emily Prentiss," She said as she stuck her hand out for the older woman to shake.

"Well, what a nice name." Mabel said as she shook Emily's hand. "You need to make sure beanpole here eats. There is nothing like a woman that can cook a good meal for her man," Madea said as she eyed Spencer.

"Ma'am..uh...Mabel...I…no! Emily and I are just friends and co-workers. I would never-"Reid muttered as he awkwardly shoved his hands into his pockets.

Emily looked at Reid and scowled. "What do you mean you would never?"

"I just mean that we're only friends and nothing more. I didn't mean - oh boy!" Reid babbled.

Madea shrugged and said, "Boy, you need to find a good woman. Preferably someone who can cook. Lookin' like you have to run around a shower just to get wet. Don't make no sense."

Prentiss laughed but immediately stopped. She shifted uncomfortably under Madea's gaze. "And what about you, Chuckles? You got someone to go home to?"

"N...No ma'am, Mabel… I am far too busy to have a serious relationship," Emily replied, looking thoroughly chastised.

"How hard is the F.B.I working you people? All of you are so damn busy," Mabel said with her hands on her hips."

"Well given the fact that we average two cases a week and are almost always on call with only three weeks a year of vacation time not including major holidays if we arent on a case, and there are five hundred, twenty five thousand, nine hundred and forty nine minutes in a year, we work four hundred, eighty eight thousand, one hundred and sixty minutes a year. So you see, Ms. Mabel, we barely have time to sleep, let alone date." Reid said without taking a breath.

Mabel looked down her glasses at Reid. "Well I know why you're single."

Penelope loved seeing the unflappable Emily Prentiss and the genius Doctor Reid, who had a propensity for all things logical, squirm in their seats. It was time for the teasing to end as lunch time was almost over.

Emily glanced down at her watch and said, "Boy where did the time go? We need to get back to our paperwork ma'am." When Reid stayed silent she kicked one of the legs of his chair

"Oh uh yes! We have mountains of paperwork. It was nice to meet you ma'am, Mrs- Madea" Reid said hastily.

Penelope gawked at the retreating forms of Reid and Prentiss. She focused her attention back to Derek's aunt who was sporting a smile and amusement in her eyes.

"Mabel would you like to come to my office with me? We can wait for Derek to get back." Penelope suggested.

"Sure. I need to talk to my nephew as soon as I can," Mabel said as she grabbed her purse.

Penelope slung her bag over her shoulder and led Madea to her office of all things digital.

"Wow, look at all these computers. You ain't scared that you're going to get cancer?" Madea asked while looking all over the room.

"Nah, I have read plenty of studies that debunk the cancer rumor. Plus doesn't everything cause cancer nowadays?" Penelope replied with a shrug.

Mabel laughed and said, "You're right. So what do you do with all these computers?"

"I find any and all the information the team needs." Penelope saw the slightly confused look on Mabel's face. "Okay, like this. I take your name-" Penelope typed a few commands on her keyboard. "And then I get all of your information like this."

The first thing to pop up on Penelope's screens was Madea's many mugshots. The two huddled reading all the information. Penelope's mouth dropped open when she saw how many assault charges the older woman had.

"Okay right here," Madea jabbed a finger at Penelope's large monitor. " Now I didn't harass no police officer. He harassed me. Asking me a whole bunch of questions that were none of his damn business."

"Wow for someone who's been arrested a lot, you've surprisingly served very little jail time." Penelope's mouth dropped open when she read all the charges. There was criminal trespassing, reckless endangerment, criminal possession of a handgun, assault with a deadly weapon, suspended license, expired registration, reckless driving and several offenses for broken taillights. Those were only the charges from the past ten years. Penelope's curiosity was piqued so she typed a few more commands and almost fell out of her office chair reading the rest of Madea's back ground.

Madea had been arrested for check fraud, illegal gambling, insurance fraud, and many vehicle thefts. What surprised Penelope was the most was how many times Madea had been married. She couldn't help but whisper, "Nine husbands all still living."

"What was that," Madea asked.

"I just...you were married nine times," Penelope said slightly dumbfounded.

"Yeah. I didn't have trouble getting a man. It was when I caught them they got on my damn nerves."

Penelope cocked her head to the side. She knew she was meant for marriage, and the white picket fence and a front yard full of healthy happy babies. The thing that bothered Penelope was in her last two serious relationships she never really saw herself settling down with them. The idea of having a child with Kevin was enough for her to turn down his proposal. It was true she didn't like change, especially if she was going to change for a man who smelled like maple bacon donuts and Old Spice.

Then there was Sam. He was tall, with dark hair and brown eyes and a was a sweet boyfriend. Anyone who would willing listen to hack her way through "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" on the ukulele was worth having around. The problem was being with Sam wasn't exciting. There was no spontaneity in their relationship and it sometimes drove Penelope crazy that he left all the plan making to her.

She was lying to herself. It wasn't because Sam was somewhat boring. It was because he wasn't her best friend. She compared all the men she ever dated to Derek Morgan and every single one of them fell short. Derek was a complex and caring individual. Her very own superhero with Greek god like body. Those kids she imagined looked an awful lot like him.

What was she going to do? She didn't really want to talk to any of her teammates about this for fear it would get back to Derek, and she wouldn't dare talk to the man himself about it. She needed someone to talk to and process this. She finally let herself admit she was in love with her best friend that currently had a girlfriend

Penelope realized she must have been quiet for too long because Madea looked like she was studying the younger woman.

"Child, you look like you want to ask me something. Go ahead," she said while giving Penelope's hand a gentle pat.

"I- Well you see…" Penelope wasn't quite sure where to start. It was a life altering thing to realize you are in love with another man.

"Come on little blonde girl. Spit it out!" Madea said tapping her foot impatiently.

Penelope took a calming breath and began. "Mabel. I-" She sighed not knowing where to start.

"Lemme see if I can help you out because a woman only gets the look you have right now on your face because of a man. Are you having problems with yours?"

"You see that's the problem Sam is a wonderful man. He's kind and thoughtful. He really cares about me. He should be a perfect match for me but thats the thing….He's...uh kinda boring." Penelope felt horrible for voicing her concern about her relationship aloud. When the thoughts were safely tucked away in her own head she could ignore the guilt.

"Ah, I see," Madea said with a nod and a smile. "This same man isn't the biscuit to your gravy?

"What?" With a tilt of her own head Penelope looked at Madea utterly confused.

"He isn't the neckbone to your collard greens?"

"Okay what now? Neckbone of what exactly?"Madea huffed trying to explain to this girl what she was trying to say. "Her eyes searched around the room and finally she said, "He isn't the Captain to your Tennille. The Hall to your Oats."

"Oh! I know those ." Penelope giggled when she finally understood what Madea was talking about.

Madea rolled her eyes.

"But yes. He isn't the Captain." Penelope said it so dejectedly Madea felt sorry for the girl.

"Little blond girl we need to get you listening to something with a little soul in it." Madea said with a laugh.

"It's funny Derek says that all the time."

"So you and my nephew spend a lot of time together," Madea asked.

Once again, Penelope blushed. "Well Mabel, we are best friends and given the nature of our jobs we tend to spend a lot of time together hanging out and destressing from a case."

"Oh I see. So how long have you been in love with Derek," Madea asked pointedly.

Penelope froze. Her body felt heavy and her heart rate accelerated and she could hear blood whooshing in her ears. Her eyes went wide and her tongue felt dry.

"I'm not in love with Derek. He's just my best friend," Penelope squeaked.

Madea sighed in frustration.

"I don't know who you think you are fooling with that we are just best friends business. Lemme ask you a question." Madea said after cleaning her glasses.

Penelope only nodded and Mabel continued. "How much time do you really spend with my nephew?"

Penelope sat and thought about it. She chewed on her bottom lip trying to come up with an answer. Well before their last case that ended on a Friday, Derek called Penelope and they had movie night that turned into a movie weekend. Then Monday Sam cancelled his lunch plans with her so she knocked on Derek's office door and they went to a local diner where they shared a humongous milk shake. Tuesday they didn't hang out but Derek did call her in the middle of the night because he'd had a nightmare. Then Wednesday he brought her favorite coffee and hung out in her office for a while. Penelope looked at a smirking Madea.

"Okay so we spend a lot of time together. That doesn't mean anything. We're just best friends." Penelope wasn't sure who she was trying to convince at this point herself or the woman in front of her who wasn't buying her bullshit.

"Let me give you some advice. You saw with your own eyes how many times I've been married, so I know a thing or two about relationships. Stop settling for nice and go after who you really want because in the end you deserve to be happy and don't even worry about whether or not he loves you back because it's almost embarrassing how much he talks about you to Fran."

"He does?" Penelope blurted out.

"Child have you been listening to me," Madea asked with a huff.

"Of course I have. It's just-"

There was a knock on Penelope's office door effectively ending their conversation.

JJ was in a rush so she didn't even bother to open the office door. "Garcie roundtable in five."

"Mabel I do apologize it looks like we may have to cut our visit short. Do you want to wait here in my office or would you like to see if Derek has gotten here yet."

"I think I will go with you and check on that nephew of mine."

Penelope grabbed her laptop after putting her computers to sleep. She made a sweeping motion with her hand and asked, "Shall we?"

They walked into the bullpen just as Derek was arriving through the glass doors. Penelope almost doubled over in laughter as she saw how wide Derek's eyes got at seeing his aunt in the F.B.I building. She actually did laugh at loud as she saw he look to his left and his right to see if he could find an escape route before his aunt saw him. She then saw him turn and try to make a hasty retreat through the glass doors to reach the bank of elevators.

She actually crowded with laughter when she heard Mabel loudly and harshly ask, "Young man, where the hell do you think you're going?"

Next chapter coming soon.

If you've got time drop a review.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Derek flinched at his aunt's tone. He should have known better than to try and sneak out on her.

"Derek Morgan, come here! And if you think about running out of this room, I will get a switch and put you over my knee!" Agitation was evident in Madea's tone. Emily couldn't contain her laughter at the scene playing out in front of her. She quickly covered her mouth after a snort and giggle came from her nose and throat. Madea whirled around and snapped, "Hey, Chuckles! Shut it!"

Emily quickly looked down at the desk she was sitting at trying to hide the violent flush of red that appeared on her cheeks. Madea redirected her attention back to Derek.

Derek quickly walked over to his aunt while failing miserably to hide the look of shock on his face. "Madea, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here because my nephew has been promising me he was going to come to Georgia and has yet to show up," Madea bit out angrily.

"I know, Madea, but I said I was coming this time. You didn't need to come all the way up here." Derek said still in shock.

"Boy you have been telling me the same bull for years now. Funny how it seems serial killers like to chop people up just days before our family reunion every year." Madea said.

Reid looked from Morgan to Madea, "If your family reunion is this time every year that we did indeed have a case last year but the three years before that we didn't have any cases... matter of fact two years and three days ago we had two weeks of mandatory downtown." Reid babbled.

"Kid, shut up!" Derek groaned loudly while avoiding his aunt's heated gaze. "Madea, maybe we should continue you this in my office."

"Gladly," Madea huffed.

Once in his office, Derek closed the door and gestured towards a chair for his aunt to sit in.

She sat directly across from Derek's desk, and he followed suit sitting in his own chair.

"Now why in the hell have you not come to see any of us Derek? We're your family." Madea said.

Sighing heavily,Derek replied, "I just have been really-"

"Boy, if you tell me one more damn time that you were busy I'mma slap you so hard Fran will be able to feel it in Chicago," Madea said.

"Madea...please." There was panic in his voice.

"Derek, I deserve to know what in the hell is going on with my nephew. I came up here because I was worried and I knew the only way to get an answer out of you was face to face," Madea said

"You're right, but I really don't want to talk about it," he said with a plea.

"Now I'm really worried. Even when you were little you never acted like this. Boy start talking, and I mean now!" She said angrily.

Derek rubbed his face tiredly. He stayed silent for a few minutes and felt Madea's withering gaze on him. He knew there was no way he was going to get out of that office without telling her something. The questions was how much should he tell her. It was times like these he wished he could run to Penelope so she could help him out with this. He glanced at his office phone, wishing she would call.

Madea began tapping one of her white orthopedic tennis shoes rhythmically in a clear sign of impatience.

Derek cleared his throat because it suddenly felt dry. With a fortifying breath, he began.

"You know the summer after my pops died?" Derek said.

Madea just nodded, not wanting to interrupt him.

"Mama sent me to come stay with you and Uncle Joe because she worked so much. That first summer was the best. I had so much fun with all my cousins, watching Uncle Joe cheat at dominoes. Do you remember that time you taught me how to drive?" Derek said and then chuckled.

Madea laughed and shook her head at the memory. Derek was sitting on a stack of phone books driving like a bat out of hell in her old Coup Deville. She'd even joked he would make a good getaway driver.

"Anyway," Derek said, taking his aunt out of her thoughts. "It was fine for a few summers, but then as I got older mama needed more and more help back home. It was time for me to become the man of the house. I got a summer job helping out Uncle Terry at his construction company. I guess I had been gone so long from Georgia I just felt like I didn't belong anymore."

Derek folded his hands on his desk waiting to see if his aunt was buying what he told her.

Madea stared him down. He started to shift uncomfortably under her glare.

"Derek Morgan, I know you're not telling me everything, but for now I will leave it alone if you promise me that you and that Samantha-"

"It's Savannah," Derek said with a sigh.

"Well, whatever… I expect to see you there this year, do you hear me?" Madea admonished him.

"I hear you, and I promise I will be there." Derek assured her.

There was a knock on the door. JJ stuck her head in the room and smiled apologetically.

"Excuse me Derek we've caught a case. Roundtable room in twenty."

"JJ I would like you to meet my Aunt Mabel."

JJ walked over to Mabel and stuck her hand out. "It's nice to meet you ma'am."

Madea shook JJ's hand and said, "Just call me Mabel. What is it with the F.B.I and you skinny little things?"

"I...I'm sorry what?" JJ asked in confusion.

"It's nothing, my aunt is just kidding." Derek said quickly.

"Oh okay." JJ said still confused. "Well it was nice to meet you Mabel."

"It was nice to meet you too," Madea, said smiling.

"Where are we off to this time?" Derek wondered if it would be to much to pray for a case on the other side of the world to get him out of this reunion.

"Fortunately, it's a local case. You should be home most nights," JJ said and then turned on her heel.

Once JJ was gone and the door was closed Madea said, "Does anyone in this building eat? That one was all skin and bones." Madea said with a scowl on her face.

"Madea I need to get to the roundtable room soon." Derek said glancing at his wall clock.

"I need to find me a hotel-"Madea said.

"Madea you don't need to do that. Come with me."Derek said quickly.

Derek and his aunt walked into the round table room. this transition could be stronger

"Morgan would you like to tell me who your guest is?" Hotch said in his normal dispassionate tone.

"This is my aunt Mabel. I just need to talk to Penelope for a moment." Derek said.

"Go ahead, but please hurry we need to get the meeting started soon," Hotch said as he gestured toward the stack of files waiting to be opened on the table.

Derek strode toward Penelope. "Hey Penelope, can you give Madea your key to my place?"

"Sure thing Derek. If I get a chance I can check on her later if you want me to," Penelope said smiling at Madea who was waiting impatiently by the door.

"You're the best, Garcia," Derek said offering her one of his most dashing smiles.

Penelope fished her key to Derek's apartment out of her purse and dropped it into his hands.

Hotch cleared his throat, "We really need to get started, Morgan," Hotch said swiftly

"One more second Hotch," Morgan said as he approached his aunt.

"Here's the key. Call me or Penelope for if you need anything. Her number is on my fridge under emergency."Derek said.

"Well thank you nephew. It was very nice meeting all of you," Madea said as she gathered her purse and headed out the door.

Once Derek took his seat he said, "Okay, what do we have?" Penelope stood up grabbing the remote from the table and as almost always Penelope gave his back a comforting caress. He smiled at the simple gesture and focused all his attention on finding out the particulars of the case.

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	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

Madea parked her gold Cadillac in front of Derek's apartment building. After grabbing her duffle bag and purse, she made her way to his front door.

"3B," Madea muttered to herself. She used the key Derek gave to her. She unlocked the door but before she could step inside Derek's alarm system started going off.

"Oh, hell no!" Madea shouted over the deafening noise. She rummaged around her purse for her cellphone after shutting the door and remained outside.

"These people are going to think I'm trying to break in. The last thing I need to do is catch a damn case," she mumbled while locating her phone.

Madea backed even further away from the door when the noise became louder. She plugged a finger in her ear and sighed in relief when the phone was answered on the second ring.

"Hello? Mabel, is everything alright?" Penelope asked.

"No, it most certainly is not. Derek forgot to give me the damn alarm code." Madea yelled into the phone over the deafening alarm.

"Ah! Okay go back inside. It's a little tricky, so I'll help you," Penelope instructed.

"I'll do anything to get this noise to stop," Madea said. She quickly went inside and walked over to the panel.

Penelope shouted the code and commands. It took a few moments, but finally the alarm quieted.

"Thank you," Madea said gratefully.

"Is there anything else you need help with?" Penelope asked.

"Naw I'm fine now," Madea said looking around Derek's apartment.

"Well call me if you need anything," Penelope said sincerely. .

"Will do. I'm going to find something in here to eat and put my feet up," Madea said tiredly.

"Oh. I guarantee Derek's doesn't have anything in his fridge other than a couple of beers and some old takeout containers. I'm almost done here so if you'd like I could bring you something." Penelope offered.

"Well I'm not sure what's around. What do you normally get?" Madea asked.

"I'm a vegetarian so I just get meatless lasagna from this great place." Penelope replied.

Madea pinched the bridge of her nose just above her glasses. "Lawd Jesus, you're a vegetarian? Well does this place sell any kind of meat?" she asked.

"Oh sure. I can get the veggie lasagna for me and the sweet Italian sausage lasagna for you. How does that sound?" Penelope asked.

"Just fine," Madea replied. After ending their phone conversation she opened Derek's refrigerator and saw that Penelope was absolutely right. Ignoring the old takeout containers she reached in and grabbed a beer. She plopped on the couch turned the tv on to Family Feud and propped her feet up on the coffee table.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Penelope carried two large styrofoam containers towards Derek's door. She gave a polite knock and smiled when Madea opened the door.

Once they settled onto Derek's couch they began eating and making small talk.

Penelope couldn't help but laugh at all the antics a young Derek Morgan got himself into.

"You know, Derek has a cousin named Orlando that looks just like him. When they first started getting interested in girls if they got bored with one they would just switch." Madea chuckled and shook her head. "Derek has been a player most of his life. He started flirting with grown women while he was still in diapers."

Penelope went to speak but stopped abruptly when she heard a knock on the door.

"I wonder who that could be," Penelope asked as she made her way to the front door. After peering through the peephole she smiled as she opened the door.

Savannah stood on the other side looking rather coldly towards Penelope.

"Penelope I wasn't expecting you to be here," Savannah said as she walked through the door.

"Oh I was just helping Derek out. His aunt is here to visit and she was having some trouble with his alarm." Penelope said. "I'm sure you would like to meet her."

"Of course I would like to meet my boyfriend's aunt," Savannah said with a heavy emphasis on the word my.

As Savannah and Penelope rounded the corner they saw Madea with her shoes off and feet propped on the coffee table. She had a beer in her hand as was laughing at something Judge Ehpram was saying on the tv.

"You tell em Mablean. I be telling people Judge Ephram don't play." Madea said with a chuckle. After taking a swig of her beer she then yelled, "Hey little blonde girl who was that at the door.

"It's Derek's girlfriend," Penelope said.

Madea stood up and turned around.

"Well hellur. Aren't you a pretty, skinny little thing? Suzanna is it," Madea asked as she stuck her hand out to shake Savannah's.

"Ma'am its a pleasure to meet you and my name is Doctor Savannah Hayes," Savannah said after giving Madea a lukewarm handshake using only the tips of her fingers.

"Well is that right," Madea asked completly unimpressed.

"Where is Derek?" Savannah asked ignoring the lack of enthusiasm from Madea.

"The team caught a case. I'm sure that's why he was so busy," Penelope said.

Penelope looked over to see Madea eyeing Savannah and looked anything but pleased with her.

"Savannah, I'm sure Derek was just too busy to fill you in on Madea being here, and Madea I'm sure Derek didn't have time to tell you she was coming over," Penelope said with a hopeful smile.

"Samantha, I'm sure you can call Derek, and he will straighten this all out," Madea said with a roll of her eyes.

"It's Savannah. And I'm sure he will." With a slight sigh Savannah took out her phone and began to dial.

After a few moments Savannah stomped her foot in annoyance and left Derek a scathing voicemail demanding he return her call.

Madea looked over at Penelope and asked, "Why don't you give him a try?"

"I'm sure if he didn't answer for me, he's not going to answer for her," Savannah said snidely.

Penelope shrugged and pressed the number one on her speed dial. In less than two rings Derek picked up.

"Put it on speaker, little blonde girl," Penelope grimaced, but did what Madea demanded anyway

"Um, Derek, how busy are you right now?" Penelope asked.

"We're waiting for an M.E report. Why? You got any information for your Hot Stuff?" Derek said with a teasing lilt to his voice.

Penelope sighed internally when she saw Savannah looking appalled. Penelope forgot that not everyone was privy to she and Derek's flirting habits.

Savannah took a few steps towards Penelope and snatched the phone out of her hand.

"Derek, why didn't you tell me you were going on a case? I came over to surprise you and found Penelope, and your aunt in your apartment," Savannah said.

"Oh damn I forgot to call you," Derek' said.

"You can't remember to call me but you can give Penelope a key." Savannah growled back into the phone.

"Look sweetheart when this case is over I'll take you and your family along with my aunt out to dinner at that new place you wanted to try. Okay," Derek said. "Look I have to let you go."

"By honey I'll see you when you get back, "Savannah said so sweetly Penelope caught Madea rolling her eyes.

"Um can you hand Penelope the phone," Derek asked.

Savannah ended her conversation with Derek and handed Penelope back the phone.

Hey Penelope it's case related so you're going to have to take me off of speakerphone." Derek said

Once the phone was against Penelope's ear she asked, "What's up?"

After a few moments of Derek telling Penelope the list of suspects they needed narrowed down they ended the call.

"Well ladies it appears I'm once again needed down at the BAU. Madea if you need anything at all you have my number," Penelope said as she gathered her things. "Savannah it was good seeing you again, "

"Yes you too, " Savannah said even though to Penelope she didn't sound the least bit sincere. "It was very nice to meet you Mabel, Savannah then said to Madea.

"Nice to meet you to Sahara, "Madea said.

Savannah didn't even bother to correct the older woman this time.

"Well I should get back to the hospital since Derek isn't here," Savannah said curtly. She turned on her heels and walked out of the apartment, and slammed the door shut.

After helping Madea pull out the couch and find blankets and pillows for Madea, Penelope hitched a thumb over her shoulder and said, "I'm needed back in my lair, so I'm going to go. Are you sure you have everything you need?"

"Yes I do. Thanks for stopping by Penelope. I hope to see you before I leave town," Madea said on a yawn.

Penelope quietly made her way out of Derek's apartment. As she drove through the streets of Quantico she hoped she would get to see Mabel again before she went back to Georgia. The woman was a spitfire and wasn't afraid to speak her mind.

Almost as a second thought a little voice inside of Penelope's head said that maybe Mabel "Madea Simmons would be able to figure out her mess of a love life.

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	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I own nothing. Nothing I say!

A/N2: I want to thank nae1213, ChastityM, Kimd33, Draco lover 91, Lex-no Luther, snoochie76, jenny crum, buddyboots, Nimue68, Nandarin, Goddess of Crazy, Leigh59, KiaraKitty, Zammis Dracon, PolHop, LucinaHeartsSVU, Beachgirl25, toni, MyShipisUnbroken, tenajens, dellaslovinlife, Morelie, tudee, FreelySheRoams, and anyone sighned in under guest thanks for reviewing this story so far. I really appreciate it. I want to also that everyone who followed and/or favorited the story.

A/N3:Thanks to evgrrl09 for helping me with this.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my weird ideas.

Derek scrubbed his hand roughly over his tired face as he trudged his way to his front door. It wasn't that the case had been particularly hard it was just more annoying than anything. As soon as Garcia would eliminate one suspect, it seemed like twenty more names would be added to the list. Finally after three days of running around the streets of downtown Philadelphia, the unsub had been caught.

Derek smiled as he slid his spare key into the lock. He was pretty impressed with himself; the tackle he took down the unsub with was NFL worthy. He dropped his bag by the front door and was immediately greeted with the smell of bacon, pancakes, and fresh brewed coffee.

Derek's mouth began to salivate in hunger. He'd spent the past few days eating out of greasy fast food bags and styrofoam containers of sorry excuses for Chinese food.

"C'mon in here and get something to eat," Madea called from the kitchen

Derek gave Madea a grateful smile. Madea placed a plate piled high of bacon, eggs, and pancakes. She then handed him a piping hot bowl full of grits with just a pinch of salt and a generous helping of butter and a large mug of coffee.

"Dang Madea, you threw down in here," Morgan said with a mouth full of eggs.

"Well, you know how I do. Plus I'm worried about all these hungry looking people you work with. The really skinny fellow with the bags under his eyes could use a big ol' bowl of my grits. Put some meat on that young man's bones," Madea said with a chuckle.

"Wait how'd you know I was coming home? I didn't have time to call anyone from the airstrip," Morgan said took a bite of his bacon.

"Your little friend called me and told me," Madea said as she started to prepare her own plate.

"Yeah, Penelope's sweet like that. That's why she's my best friend," Derek said.

"How come you've never asked her out?" Madea said looking down at over the rim of her glasses.

"Madea, why you gotta go there? Penelope and I are just really good friends. She has Sam, and you know I'm with Savannah," Derek said, trying not blush under his aunt's glare.

"Oh yeah, that little Sabrina-" Madea started say.

"Savannah. Her name is Savannah, Aunt Mabel," Derek interrupted.

"My bad. You know when you get old like me your mind starts to slip," Madea said.

Derek shot his aunt a look that said he didn't buy that shit for a moment. The woman's mind was as sharp as a tac. Hell if she didn't have so many damn felonies, she could have easily been a profiler.

"Like I was sayin, I don't think I like Savannah's attitude," Madea said with a look of disgust.

"Madea, she was just a little upset that's all. We haven't had a lot of time to spend together between my cases and her work at the hospital," Morgan said.

"Oh trust me, she let me know right away she was a doctor. Talkin 'bout, it's Doctor Savannah Hayes," Madea said, mocking Savannah's tone.

"Don't be like that. Savannah is nice and sweet," Morgan said, getting a little defensive.

"Yeah well I don't see how you put up with Miss. I don't think my shit stinks,"Madea said as she took a flask out of her purse and poured a good bit of Hennessey into her coffee.

Derek just shook his head.

Madea took a swig from the flask and said, "What? It's five o'clock some damn where, and if I was dating someone like Sonja I would need a drink, too." She put her flask back in her purse.

"Madea, it's Savannah, and I promise you once you get to know her you'll like her," Morgan said as he stood up to put his now empty plate into the sink.

"I don't know bout all that, but since she is your girlfriend, and yo mama has been asking you for grandbabies for some time now, I suppose I could give Chaka Khan a shot," Madea said as she sipped on her coffee.

"Madea, I am not about to play with you. Chaka Khan doesn't even start with an S. And we've discussed kids, and we feel right now that we should be focusing on our careers and spending time together. Maybe later on we'll have children," Morgan explained.

"I ought to smack the stupid out of you. Derek, you're already forty. How much longer are you gonna wait?" Madea asked. "Don't no baby want a mother and father in an old folks home. That won't look right. Everybody in the family will be wearing diapers."

Derek thought about it for a moment and it did seem crazy that they would wait to have children. The real question plaguing him was: did he want to have children with Savannah? She was so high strung and demanding...could he marry and live his life with a woman like that?

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Penelope was pacing back and forth across her living room. After the past few days with Morgan gone to Philadelphia, she had gotten to spend a little bit more time with Derek's Aunt Mabel. She either would have dinner or lunch with her and hear wonderfully hysterical tales about Derek as a child. She knew about the abuse he suffered at the hand of Carl Buford, and it made Penelope's heart hurt less for a younger Derek, knowing he had good times as a youth.

Madea also gave Penelope a lot to think about when it came to her relationship with Sam. She wasn't quite sure why Derek's aunt had taken such interest in her relationship. Just yesterday, Madea had asked her if she wanted to have children and immediately she answered right away that she would love more than anything to be a mother.

The way Penelope had gushed over the idea while she and Madea were at a hole in the wall barbeque joint that looked old and slightly greasy but served the best ribs in town. Of course Penelope had settled on the only thing that wasn't deep fried in animal fat. She almost choked on her garden salad when Madea asked her if she thought that Sam was the man that she wanted to father her children.

Penelope and Sam had talked about having kids, but Sam wasn't to keen on the idea. He said that with his busy work schedule and with her being on call for the BAU they wouldn't be able to spend time with their child.

Penelope wasn't sure if she really believed that. When she would babysit for JJ and Hotch, Sam would make himself scarce or was too busy trying to stay neat and clean when all Henry and Jack wanted to do was play. She had seen Sam with children and it wasn't very impressive.

With that question still looming in the back of Penelope's mind: Would you have children with Sam? her answer would be without a doubt would have been, Hell no!

This led to Penelope pacing in her living room. Sam was on his way over and she knew without a doubt she was going to end things.

There was a knock on Penelope's apartment a few minutes later. Sam came breezing in still dressed in his tailored suit and tie from work.

"Penelope what was so important I had to end my conference call with our Japanese partners short?" Sam asked on a sigh. He was clearly annoyed with being interrupted.

"Well I," Penelope started to say but stopped in mid sentence.

"Sweetheart what is it," Sam coaxed. Penelope figured if he changed his tone he could get whatever conversation they were about to over so he could go back to work.

"You see-" Once again she stopped speaking and began wringing her hands together to stop them from shaking. She hated confrontation.

Once again Sam looked at his watch.

"Penelope I hate to cut this short but I really do need to get back to work. Can you just please tell me what's going on, and why you look so nervous." Sam asked.

Penelope took a fortifying breath. It helped calm her down just enough for her hands to stop the twitching hand movements.

"Sam I've been thinking a lot about us in the past few days. I think it's best if we...um.. end things." Penelope confessed. Once the words she had been too apprehensive to say she felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulder.

That feeling was short lived.

"What do you mean you want to break up," Sam asked angrily.

"We want different things. I want to start a family and you want to wait. We aren't getting any younger. And before you ask this is not an attempt to force you into doing something you don't want to do," Penelope responded.

"Penelope look at our jobs. When would we have time to raise it. You get to see Harry and Jake from time to time. Isn't that enough," Sam asked.

"Not for me it isn't," Penelope said saddly. "Sam I'm sorry but it's over."

"Frankly you weren't worth the trouble anyway," Sam said as he strode towards the door. He quickly turned on his heels to deliver his last shot.

"You know Penelope I knew eventually this would happen. Your ex Kevin warned me but I didn't listen." He took a step closer towards Penelope and said, "What a lonely miserable life you'll have if you keep wanting a man that would never want you." He sneered and snidely said, "Pathetic. Just Pathetic."

Sam left Penelope standing by her front door with her mouth wide open. She quickly clamped it shut. She didn't want to think about what her now ex boyfriend said. All she wanted to do is have a few glasses of wine and a good night's rest.

Sam's little outburst and solidified that she had made the right decision. She once asked Derek why couldn't Sam be more like him. The truth is Sam was too big of a pussy to be anything like Derek and it didn't matter that she and Derek may never be. Madea was absolutely right Penelope Garcia deserved to be happy and if she spent her life trying to find the gravy to her biscuits that was just fine with her because she was never going to settle again.

Penelope walked over to her couch. She flopped onto it and picked up her cell phone that was resting on her coffee table. She pressed the number two on speed dial and waited for the person on the other line to answer.

"Hey it's me. I was wondering if you had any plans tonight." Penelope said hoping that she wouldn't have to spend the night all alone. She was afraid if she stayed home she would question her decision to break up with Sam. She wanted to stay strong and find the right man for her.

"Nope my plans just got cancelled. Come on over," JJ said on other end of the line.

"Sure thing. I'll be there in twenty," she said.

Once the phone call ended, Penelope grabbed her purse and keys and headed out of the door.

Drop a review if you have time.


	6. Chapter 6

So I wanted to wave hello and update this story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my O.C characters

Changes of P.O.V are in italics

I hope you guys enjoy

All mistakes are mine.

 _Penelope_

"Wow JJ this place is fantastic," Penelope Garcia said as she sipped on a glass of cherry blossom wine. She looked all around the new upscale Asian fusion restaurant.

There was so much to take in. The walls were adorned with silk red silk tapestries that told a story of a Geisha and the man she loved, gold leafed chandeliers hung

high above each table and the tables themselves were covered with the most beautiful table cloth she'd ever seen.

Currently JJ and Penelope were waiting for their main course and were oohing and ahhing over everything the restaurant had to offer.

"Now are we going to talk about what is bothering you?," JJ asked after popping an edamame pod into her mouth.

"It's nothing really. Sam and I got into an argument and I broke up with him," Penelope said then shrugged her shoulders hoping her friend would see she really

wasn't upset about it.

"What did you two argue about," JJ asked over the rim of her glass of wine.

" I'm fine. We don't really have to talk about this now,"

"Penelope can you just give me the short version so I don't worry," JJ asked with a true look of concern etched on her face.

"Well after talking to Derek's aunt, I had decided that Sam and I were going in different directions. I wanted children, and he didn't. We had fun together and such

but I didn't see us going the distance. He wasn't the Hall to my Oats,"

"He wasn't your what now," JJ asked in total confusion.

"Well Mabel and I were talking while you guys were on the case and she asked me some questions that really got me thinking. Why waste my time with a man that I

can't see myself settling down with. Don't get me wrong I love, love, love Henry with all my heart and I couldn't adore Jack more if I tried, but seeing them grow up

before my eyes shows me that I'm missing out on something wonderful. Long story short; I called Sam to come over to end things. He said some harsh words but it

was the same crapola I heard from Kevin,"

"What would that be," JJ asked as she perused the sushi menu.

"Blah, blah. Ya know, I don't even remember," Penelope said. She wasn't about to tell JJ that the spouted bull was about what her exes thought of her pining after

Derek.

Penelope Garcia wasn't pining after anyone.

"Oh you mean blah, blah Derek," JJ asked with fake innocence

"How' did you..." Penelope's eyes went wide while JJ cut her off.

"How did I know? It's the looks that Kevin shot Derek when neither of you were looking. Or the way Kevin use to practically drape himself all over you when Derek

would walk into the room. With Sam it was harder to see because he didn't work with us like Lynch did," She stopped speaking for a moment when a waiter wearing

a black bow tie, crisp white shirt, a red silk vest, and pleated black slacks brought out their sushi.

They traded delectable rolls back and forth.

JJ opened her mouth to speak when they heard yelling from across the restaurant.

"Oh, God," Penelope exclaimed as soon she heard the voice. There was no denying who had just yelled.

XXXXXXXXXXX

 _Derek_

"Derek what in the hell kind of restaurant is this?" Madea asked as she was handed a sushi menu from the hostess that just led them to their private table.

"Madea, it's an Asian fusion restaurant," Derek replied.

"I don't see much fusion happening. Don't they have a stove or a microwave or sumthin' back there,"Madea asked with annoyance laced in every word.

Before he could answer his aunt, a waiter walked over to the table and offered a warm smile.

"Welcome. My name is Deshi, and I will be your waiter today. May I start you off with an appetizer," The waiter said with a slight bow of respect.

"Lawd Jesus I don't have a clue as to what any of this stuff is," Madea said as she eyeballed the menu.

Derek glanced at the menu and quickly decided for them both, while waiting for Savannah and her parents to show up.

"We would like to start off with Yakitori for me, Tebo Shio for my Aunt and we will share an order of Bindae Tteok. Thank you, oh and could you I would like a bottle

of Hitachino Nest White Ale, and for my aunt she will take a Hennessy Black and Coke easy on the ice.

"Well hell at least they have my drank," Madea said with a chuckle. The waiter nodded and went to fill the orders.

"So Derek, when are Sophia and her parents suppose to be here," Madea asked.

"Now Mabel don't you start with me. You know that girl's name is Samantha, Damn it! I meant Savannah. See, now you got me doing it too," Derek scolded.

"Alright I'm sorry, Tell me more about this girl and her family," Madea said.

"Well, Savannah's father is a heart surgeon, and her mother is a concierge doctor,"

"Oh I see, her mama goes to rich folks houses who's to embarrassed to admit they got the clap from a ho," She said with a chuckle and shake of her head.

"Madea please," Derek pleaded as he noticed a few other patrons were starting to look their way.

"Okay, okay I will be on my best behavior," Mable conceded but then asked, "What else do you know about them?"

"Her father's name is Chauncey and he loves golf, and that's about it on him. Her mother's name is Victoria.

"Chauncey you say? I knew a kid growing up and we used to call him Punk Ass Chauncey. All that fool did was cry and call for his mama. Frankly every Chauncey I

have ever met eventually becomes another Punk Ass Chauncey," She said with a grin and a laugh.

Before Derek could respond to that comment, he noticed Savannah and her parents coming up. Derek was raised a gentleman so he stood up and greeted Savannah

with a kiss on the cheek. He waited for the proper introductions to be made and held the chair out for Savannah.

He glance at his aunt and noticed that she was anything but impressed. Derek sent a silent prayer to whomever was listening that this didn't end in a disaster.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Madea_

Mabel surveyed everyone sitting at the table. She had a few books written by one of Derek's colleagues and knew for a fact that if she didn't have so many felonies

on her record she would have made one helluva profiler.

They'd all barely spoken two words to each other and Madea could already feel the judgement from Victoria and Chauncy. Well actually she couldn't tell with Victoria's

face because it seemed like good ol' Botox may have frozen her facial features.

Madea was taken out of her thoughts as she heard Victoria ask, "So Ms. Simmons what brings you to town. Savannah hadn't mention to us that we would be meeting

someone from his family until we were headed here,"Victoria said haughtily.

"Well Veronica," Madea started to say and hit Derek with the side eye letting him know that she didn't appreciate the boujee woman's tone.

"Actually its Victoria," Savannah's mother corrected.

"Mother it's fine, Mabel sometimes has trouble remembering names," Savanna said patting her mother on the hand.

Madea almost laughed her ass off at Derek choking on his beer. Savannah went to pat his back but he waved her off and stated that he was fine.

"Yes lawd in my old age I tend to be forgetful." Madea said with a smile that was anything but friendly.

Madea could sense her nephew's discomfort so she threw him a lifeline by changing the subject.

"So Chauncey is it... I was told that you are a doctor as well as your wife," Mabel stated.

"Actually I am a heart surgeon. One of the best in my field actually.." Chauncey said all the while inspecting the silverware for specks of dust.

Madea couldn't internally roll her eyes enough. Clearly Chauncey's favorite subject was him. But she would roll with it. The short, balding, pompous ass in front of her

would not get to her.

Before she could reply the waiter came by again giving Madea a new drink and Derek another beer.

"Sweetheart shouldn't you pour that into a glass," Savannah asked Derek.

Derek was about to signal the waiter for a glass, but Madea shot him a, you betta not, look.

Finally all the orders had been placed and Madea was seriously considering shooting the hell out of Chauncey and Victoria. First it was all the incessant bragging that

they did. Chauncey couldn't go five minutes without talking about how much his cars, houses, and just about everything else he owned cost.

Victoria and Savannah couldn't possibly be any faker. They laughed softly at the corny jokes Chauncey told. Madea noticed Derek making an effort to laugh but she

could tell her nephew was just as miserable as she was.

This foolishness needed to stop.

Madea already had enough stuck up people in her family and she didn't need Derek to be adding to it.

Madea sat back sipping her cocktail and knew exactly what she had to do. Oh Derek would be pissed at her at first, but she couldn't take seeing her nephew upset,

especially when there was a good woman already in his life that had been there for nearly ten years.

XXXXXXXXXX  
 _Derek_

Derek saw his aunt shift in her seat. She was way to relaxed for present company. He was genuinely shocked that his aunt hadn't snapped yet. he was sure by the

time Chauncy mentioned how much his Mercedes golf cart cost she would have slapped the little man into next week.

With that thought Derek sat up a little straighter. A quiet Madea was not a good thing. That means that woman was planning and scheming. He had half a mind to

yell for the check and get the hell out of that restaurant before Madea could do whatever it was she was about to do.

"So Chauncey do you ever talk about anything other than how much the stuff in yo' house cost," Derek heard Madea ask.

With that one question Derek inwardly groaned. He looked over to Savannah and saw her glare at his aunt. He wanted to plead, "Please don't say anything".

"Well Ms. Simmons I don't see anything wrong with speaking of one's accomplishments. WIth diligence and hard work I have made quite a name for myself,"

Chauncey said as he tried to stare Madea down.

Derek had to give his aunt credit, apparently those court appointed anger management classes had been working. Instead of threatening to shoot the man in front of

her she instead chose to smile at Chauncey.

Madea was right. This man was another Punk Ass Chauncey.

"Speaking of occupations, Mabel what is it that you do," Victoria asked.

XXXXXXXXXXX

 _Madea_

Mabel Madea Simmons had just about enough.

"I'm retired," Madea replied

"More like just released from prison," Chauncey said.

"That's right. I wanted to know what kind of family my little honey bear was marrying into.

"Derek is there something you want to tell me," Madea asked. "Are you considering marrying her,"

"Why? What is wrong with my little Peaches,"Victoria asked. Madea could see the woman getting angry with her and she didn't give a damn.

"We haven't discussed marriage. I think we are fine where we are," Derek said pulling on the collar of his shirt.

"Frankly I think my little Vannah is too good for you, to me your job seems a little ridiculous," Victoria said to Derek. She seemed to have steam coming out of her

ears.

"Now mama, I told you that Derek has a degree in Criminal Justice. In just a few classes he can quit his silly little job and work for the D.A. And with the right

grooming he could surely become Assistant D.A" Savannah said.

"Excuse me! No the hell I will not," Derek said raising his voice.

"Don't you speak to my daughter like that," Chauncey yelled.

"Chauncey you shut the hell up. Just who the hell do you think you are you little troll," Madea said.

"My husband is a very important surgeon you...you welfare recipient," Victoria spat.

"Now wait a damned minute Ms. Hayes," Derek said throwing his napkin down. Savannah tried touching his arm but he yanked it away.

" That… that Sasquatch insult my husband that way. Victoria said while standing up herself. She threw her own napkin down onto the table and

"Okay you are starting to act like a real uppity b-," Derek started to say.

"Excuse you Derek, how dare you speak to my mother like that," Savannah said facing off against her boyfriend

"Well I for one would like to say-"

"Shut up Chauncey," Madea and Victoria shouted at the same time.

Derek looked from Madea to Victoria and back again to his aunt. This was insane.

Derek sat back in his chair and did something so odd it made everyone else standing, (or Chauncey's case still sitting) stop and stare at him like he was crazy.

He laughed.

Derek laughed so long and hard he had tears streaming down his face.

Once he was able to blink and see clearly he surveyed everyone at the table. Victoria and Savannah were looking at him with barely veiled disgust, Chauncey was

muttering to himself out about disrespectful women and Madea..

Well Madea just looked pissed.

"Derek Morgan what in the hell is wrong with you," she asked as she continued to stare at her nephew.

"Oh I can answer that," A new voice to the dinner party added.

A/N: Okay I know it's long but I figured I owed you guys something.

Drop a review if you feel like it.


	7. Chapter 7

So I guess I have officially moved out from underneath my rock to bring you more updates.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and ignoring the wonky formatting. Also don't be shy. Tell me what you would like to see happen next.

Once again POV will be done in Italics.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my O.C characters.

 _Penelope_

" _Oh I can answer that,"_ Penelope said as she and JJ walked up to the table.

"Of course she's here," Savannah said in a huff as she crossed her arms.

"Dear who is this..this woman," Victoria asked as she eyed Penelope up and down. She then turned towards JJ and did the same.

"Mother she is the one I have been telling you about. She always with Derek. She never leaves him the hell alone," Savannah screeched looking at her mother while jabbing a finger in Penelope's direction.

"Yes very pathetic. Very pathetic indeed." Victoria said, "But it really doesn't matter bunny because Derek and his little trashy friends and family aren't worth our time. Chauncey lets go," She demanded.

Penelope saw Derek moving to stand and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. She'd figured out who these people were and she seriously doubt she was going to be properly introduced anyway.

"Now ma'am really there is no need to shout, is there, "Penelope said noticing all the onlookers and the stunned waitstaff.

Victoria smoothed her dress down and yelled loudly, "Vannah, Chauncey I said Let's go."

The Hayes family stomped through the restaurant.

Before they could exit Savannah turned around and shouted, "Derek we're over," and then continued behind her parents.

"Well hellur and goodbye to you too," Madea said while rolling her eyes.

Penelope searched Derek's face for a moment to see of he was upset and to her surprise Derek had a look of mirth.

"I should have known on a night like tonight, the goddess of all knowing would be here to witness it," Derek asked while pushing a seat out for her to sit down.

Penelope smiled and sat next to him.

"Derek seriously are you okay," Penelope asked still concerned. "It's not everyday you get broken up with in such a dramatic fashion."

"Yeah Penelope, I am actually really good. Savannah, Samantha, Susan, or my person favorite Shaka Zulu, whatever her name was wanted me to change to the point that I wouldn't have recognized myself," He said with a small shake of the head. "That girl was nuttier than a fruitcake,".

"Well if my chocolate thunder says he's okay, then I'm okay too," Penelope said while patting his hand. She was rewarded with one of his breathtaking smiles.

"That's all fine and dandy but can we get some real food now? I'm hungry as hell and after all this I need me a shot of Hennessy," Madea said.

Penelope motioned for a waiter to come over and explained that she needed the check for both her table and Derek's. He nodded quickly and scurried away. Penelope laughed internally. No doubt the poor man was glad to be rid of them.

Once the bill was settled, which meant Derek snatched Penelope's and JJ's bill and well as the dinner date from hell, they headed out of the restaurant.

XXXXXXXX

 _JJ_

"Hey skinny little blonde thing, hang back a second I need to ask you something," Madea said to JJ as she eyed how close Derek and Penelope were walking and laughing about the entire debacle inside.

"Sure thing," JJ replied. "What's up," She asked after slowing her walk down to match Mabel's.

"Okay," Madea said pointing at a still laughing Morgan and Garcia. "I normally don't get into people's business-

JJ shot her a look that said, "Yeah. Right,".

"Okay sometimes I can be a little inquisitive," She tried again but continued talking after JJ rolled her eyes. "But honestly what is going on with them? Why the hell was he even with that other girl,"

"All I can say is, for two people who are so smart they sure are dumb," JJ said as both she and Madea laughed at Penelope bumping her hip into Derek's.

"Well we gotta do sumthin'," The older woman said to the younger of the two.

"I don't know. Penelope can be guarded and Derek would be flat out pissed if he knew we were messing with his love life," JJ said as they made it to her SUV.

It then dawned on JJ that without even agreeing Morgan and Garcia had already decided to ride together leaving Madea and she behind. She unlocked her SUV and waited for Madea to get in as they followed the pair to the bar.

"See this is what I'm talkin about. They didn't even discuss who was riding with who, they just left our happy asses," Madea said with a slight chuckle and shake of her head.

As JJ backed out of her parking space she looked at Madea and said, "Don't worry we will think of something,".

XXXXXXXX

 _Derek_

"Garcia turn that off," Derek said. He could strangle his aunt for telling her about his obsession with the Purple One.

"C'mon Derek sing with me... _Purple Rain... Puuuuurrrrple Rain,"_

"Fine... Puuuuuuuurrrrple Ra-ii-in," Derek sang highly off key but was having a great time making the short trip to the bar.

What wasn't there to be happy about? He got rid of a snobby headache, he's jammin' out in the car with his best friend, and his favorite aunt in the world was visiting him.

Oh shit his aunt.

"Don't worry she's riding with JJ," Penelope said. Really her all knowing-ness was scary at times.

Derek parked, got out of his beast of an SUV, he then held the door of said beast for Penelope open and helped her get out.

He couldn't help but admire her shoes. They were sexy platform stilettos, and he had no desire to see his baby girl break her pretty little neck.

Once inside the bar Derek grabbed a table for four, and was pleasantly surprised to see Rossi and a colleague from another department enjoying what looked to be bourbon on the rocks.

Penelope and Derek politely waved and took their seats not wanting to interrupt whatever the senior profiler was talking about with his friend.

Derek glanced around and saw JJ and his aunt looking for them. He made a grand gesture and waved them over.

They took their seats and started perusing the menu.

A server came by and took their orders. Derek couldn't help but smile when Madea order a double shot of her favorite liquor.

"Now this is a place I can chow down in," Madea said. "I know they have a grill cause I can smell the burnt grease all the way over here,"

Everyone around the table chuckled.

"So Derek when are you guys headed to Georgia," Penelope asked sipping on her beer.

"I haven't exactly asked for the time off baby girl," Derek ducked his head not even wanting to see the hard look his aunt was surely giving him.

"Damn it Derek I told you to take the time off, and I meant it. If I have to I will drag you by your ear all the way. Do you hear me," Madea asked while looking at him pointedly.

"Yes ma'am," He replied sheepishly.

"Aw big bad agent Morgan is in trouble," Penelope said while giggling.

"Laugh it up little blonde girl because you're coming too," Madea said in a tone that brooked no argument.

A/N: Don't worry I am already working on the next chapter. I just wanted to get this out.

Thanks for all the reads and reviews and thanks for sticking with me in my absents.

If you feel like it let me know what story you would like to see updated next.


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